Great! It’s update #3, something I forgot to write earlier this month. Why am I constantly getting issues with the car I’m driving? Every single Monday, I’ve just gotten some random issues. Last week, it was a flat tire. This week, it was the left headlight. What’s next?
This means one very simple thing has happened. The school year has begun. And so has a year of carrying way too much stuff in a backpack. I’m so weak I struggle to carry the drums. So that’s fun. (Why the hell did I choose percussion for band?)
Music Stuff
I’m putting most of my music stuff on hold for now as I figure out why I’ve burnt myself out over the past year and figure out… how not to do that again.
There’s a song of mine that released late last month. And there’s an EP releasing in December. For now, that’s all I’m guaranteeing. I’m just in a creative slump.
So what have I been doing? Scoring! It’s somewhat interesting to see how all the instruments combine to make a band/orchestra, so I’ve been creating band arrangements of a few of my works, as well as some other stuff.
I’ve also been working on my piano skills as of late. I’m getting way rustier than I thought, so that’s fun.
In terms of vocals, one of the driving factors in me joining choir was to figure out how to sing again. (My last somewhat formal experience singing was… not great. And the last time I sung in general… also was not great. I’m sure there’s videos somewhere.)
In future, I will try my best to write lyrics. Lyrics are hard, though. You have to rewrite and reconsider and rewrite and rerecord and do all this other stuff. It’s really tedious. And that’s probably why I have a list of 30+ songs. Because it’s easier to come up with a tune than to write lyrics to it.
I’ve also been listening to a lot more music as of late. A few friends showed me their music preferences through some (slightly deranged) Spotify blends. And I can now say that someone else besides me likes Sabrina Carpenter’s music.
Writing Stuff
Remember how I said I’d be turning “The Funeral” into a Wattpad book? No.
I’m not even sure if this has an audience. It takes the concept of celebrating loss, adds a bunch of messed up humour and somewhat questionable crimes, and turns it up to the top of the dial. I’m not sure why I’m like this. But I feel like I should figure out what to do with this.
Questions
I was rewatching Girl Meets World and a quote from the show really stuck with me.
People change people.
Cory Matthews
So I’ve just been thinking about that. Ever since I started making friends in real life, they’ve helped me change for the better.
But, there’s something that’s been bothering me.
Did I let myself change too much? Did I change so much that I’m like them?
Old me would’ve never joined choir because they were too scared of their voice.
Old me would’ve never eaten with other people because they were too scared of being awkward.
Old me would’ve never asked people for help because they were too scared of being yelled at.
Old me would’ve never asked people how their day went because they were too scared of rejection.
And old me would’ve never seen themselves at a community performance to the public because they were too scared of being judged for everything.
Did I change too much? Did I let myself become a carbon copy of my friends?
Why am I like this? Why am I giving philosophical questions to a blog no one’s reading?
Final Notes
I am very happy with where I am today. I’m nothing like who I was last year around the same time. And I’m grateful for that.
Don’t be creepy on the internet.
– Lex Wu (they/them)